Why the fourth finger for a wedding ring?
How we do the garter and bouquet toss.
Old wedding customs
Wedding superstitions
Flower meanings
A kid's perspective on marriage
Why the Fourth Finger?
According to the Chinese, there is a reason why the wedding band is
designated for the fourth finger. They think that each digit constitutes an
important person in your life; similar to how a palm reader views each hand
crease as a representation of life, heart, and head. Below is each finger and
who they stand for according to Chinese belief.
Thumb - Parents
Index Finger - Siblings
Middle Finger – Self
Ring Finger – Life partner
Pinky Finger – Children
They further explain their reasoning with a hand demonstration which
metaphorically conveys each finger's significance, as shown in the picture.
- Place your open palms face to face.
- Bend the middle fingers until the knuckles are touching - hold them
back together.
- Make sure that the remaining fingers are open and spread out.
- Touch the tips of your thumbs together.
- Join the tips of the remaining fingers.
- Press your hands together.
Now to try to separate the thumbs - you'll find that you can do so easily. The
Chinese believe that this is because your parents were not to meant to live with
you forever. Eventually, they must leave and allow you to grow up and become
your own person. You can also easily separate the index fingers; the digits
which represent your siblings. These open up because your brothers and sisters
will also branch out and start families of their own. Although they will always
remain an integral part of your life, they will come and go.
After joining your index fingers together, try to divide your little fingers.
You'll find that this is also easy enough to do. These fingers represent your
children – who, just like your siblings and parents, will also leave the family
unit and begin a life apart from the family you've created with them.
Next, try to disconnect your ring fingers. You'll find that this is impossible
to accomplish without separating the middle fingers which represent the “self.”
According to Chinese notion, this is because husband and wife were never meant
to be isolated; marriage binds them together for the rest of their lives. By
disjointing the ring fingers, you essentially break away the “self.”
How we do our garter and bouquet toss
THIS FORMAT IS
OPTIONAL AND LEFT TO YOUR DISCRETION!!
Our format is to call
upon all of the single women in the room first. We have both the bride and
groom involved with both segments. When we have all of the single ladies
on the dance floor, we begin by telling them that the bride has informed us that
she never dreamed how fantastic marriage has been so far (all 4 or 5 hours) and we have
the groom kiss her passionately just to prove it. We then say that the
bride is sad to see all the ladies she cares about, so lonely and unwed and that
the only way they are ever going to attract a husband is if they dance
(boom....in comes dance music usually Single Ladies by Beyonce. After the
ladies dance for a bit, which is not hard to get them to do, we have the bride
toss the bouquet. Next we ask all of the single men to the dance floor because this is the fun part. When they
arrive on the dance floor in front of the seated bride we tell them to show the bride what she's
missing now that she's married. We use the song You Can Leave Your Hat
On
by Joe Cocker which is a sauntering kind of song that usually makes any man with
a drink in him start dancing provocatively. We will usually have two fools or so ready
to strut their stuff, but if no one starts to dance we start hounding them and
saying what terrible spouse's the ones that aren't dancing would be and that
they can't even do simple commands. Either way we get them dancing and
when they've put on enough of a show, we tell the groom to go out and join his so
called friends and show them how a real man dances. He must then crawl in
to get the garter (optional). If you would like a separate song for
the groom it is easily blended in.
Old
Wedding Customs
In early days, men had to capture their brides with the help
of their friends. The "best man" would distract the bride's
family while the groom kidnapped her. The "maids" would stay
with her to comfort her and protect her. The couple would go into hiding
for the month to get to know each other better. This is now called the
honeymoon. When the couple returned, it was the best mans duty to unite
the families in friendship. Later, men began purchasing their wives
instead of kidnapping. Families figured that if the man had enough money
he would be able to keep care of their daughter.
Superstitions
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To protect the bride and groom from evil spirits, the
bridesmaids and groomsmen dressed like the couple so the spirits wouldn't
know who was getting married. |
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Wearing a veil helped ward off evil spirits |
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Throwing rice represented fertility and growth |
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If the engagement ring is lost the marriage suffers. |
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Your wedding ring shouldn't be worn beforehand. |
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It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her
dress before the wedding. |
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Honking horns and making noise scared off evil spirits |
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Ancients believed that the ring finger has a vein that
runs straight to the heart. |
Flower Meanings
Red Roses............................Love
Red & White Roses...............Unity
Carnations....................Pure Love
Daisies...Intimate, Sharing feelings
Honeysuckle...................Devotion
Violets.......................Faithfulness
Lilies
Buttercups........................Wealth
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
(written by children) VERY WISE CHILDREN !!!!!!!!
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she
should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip
coming.
-- Alan , age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God
decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen , age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille , age 10
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same
kids.
-- Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other.
Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette , age 8(isn't
she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them
interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and
make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and
have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean
up after them.
-- Anita, age 9(bless
you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8 (just LOVE this one)
And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky, age 10
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